These kinds of cutesy Scots road signs are all over South Ayrshire where I live. The famous poet Robert Burns was born just up the road from me and I blame him completely. People around here are completely nuts for him. Every year, in villages and towns all over the place, they have special Burns Suppers. There’s poetry readings and haggis dismemberings. I like Burns, he had a brilliantly lyrical tongue and a great sense of humour. Also, nothing pleased him more than to get wasted and consensually defile some young wench. Thing is, some people take him far too seriously. He wrote in Scots, a dialect somewhere between middle english and ancient german, which has some awesome words in it that yearn to be said out loud.

At first I found these signs kinda cool but now they’re just annoyingly twee.