Tag Archive: music
I owe these two cunts a lot. They also have other talents.
Loki, Glasgow Hip Hop’s prodigal son, shows us the way.
My mates’ band is playing London. They’re pretty good. You should check them out if you’re in the area of Hackney tommorrow evening. More info here.
They sound like this.
5 day forecast clouds in a piss cup
Trying to pinpoint when the shit went tits up
Whatcha gonna do to get your ass out of this rut
So you don’t have to live your whole life tits up
Precious, brothers ain’t a name in lights
A last rice cake shared under flames and dice
That know to cope, gotta swap old campfire chillers
The kind that only grow in vampire state cellars
And climb out of jars when they migrate westward
Where they were free of any chessboard square
Hi, I don’t shake beer in the dark
I write but I’m no Shakespeare in the park
I’m a grownsed up punk with an ear for a heart and I hear you
Please wait here for the ark
Yes sir. Likely to fester inactive unless they address all the death
And distraction, shake hands with a foxhole raider
Got a grip like c-c-c-c-combo breaker
Tally up the dead folk squashed in a car
Fire still warm they couldn’t have gone far
Packed up tough in your double stuff swimtrunks
Cannonballs recalled when your shit split
New high score on the IHop Dig-Dug
Pretty cool otherwise pretty much
How can I save you when I can barely save myself?
Codependent No More on my audiobook shelf
Cruise to your town in my cape and my unitard
See what I can do with my lyrics and my guitar
Now I got my sidekick who brings the beatdown
Have you seen the size of his feet?
Clown shoes with his own name in gold on the side
If you’re in the dark we’ll bring a little Lite Brite
Pop in the pegs
Make cute pictures
Pick up some merch, make us permanent fixtures
On the self-help shelf of your record collection
So if shit’s tits up you can make the selection
That will take you from limp to a little bit pumped up
Our HQ is gluten free bun truck
Shhh, zip your lips
Don’t tell the bad guys
Shine that giant bun signal in the sky
Wait a few months for us to arrive
Big group hug, a little awkward
One day you’re in luck
One day you’re stealing cigarettes from a flipped truck
Dick face, Tits up
You feel a little better when we sign your high tops
When you get home it’s the same old tits up
One half megafawna one half mall rat, haul ass
Straight face, dove-tailed ball cap
Grape ape unveil plans for the van use
Drive to your shit town, tell you that your band rules
Live with the get down, maybe out of shampoo
Radio on scan for a stanza to lampoon
Under the bum drum cutter is a real motherfuckers’ motherfucker, motherfucker
Alex Karras and Conraid Bain and Leather Tuscadero
And Pinky and the Brain re-enacting the Universal masturbation movie
Dolph cold cocks Courtney love boobies and that over the shoulder anaconda holder
You were close to the hole, you’re getting colder
Bogeyed your birdie when I powdered my putter
But there ain’t no fluffer that can fluff this nutter
One day you’re in love
One day you’re pills suck
One day your shits fucked
Nip tuck tits up
Snookie in a snuggie at the walt witman pitstop
Cinnabon, Bon Jovi, slippery tits up
High noon, milk duds, cherry cola big gulp
Corn dog, dim sum, moon die, tits up
Swab your six lips with cholorform litmus
Colorforms, horshack, Rorschach
Hey Mom, life’s good, works great, tip tops
P.S. send cash, half dead, Tits up
Riding on the back of Undercat Battlepop
Underoos, big sword, top drawers
Can’t plug and old faithful with a fist fuck
No rain coat, no dice
Go Tits up
Shine my shoe kicking elevator missed hugs
Seventeenth floor nothing but bugs
Brunch at the strip club, corn beef, crisp ones
Four teeth, pink tux, porn stash
Joey Martin Lawrence – WHOA!
Little Stevie King Tut
Bad taste walkaways, eternal blame
This’ll be remembered as the year you ruined Christmas
Figgy pudding everywhere, shitty footing
Willy Wonka shooting blanks
Tae Bo Banks catwalk
Fizzy lifting tits up
Block block, chop block, chop, kick, kick, punch
Step over the line if you ever feel tits up
Trimmed muff not so much
I am a little hung over. No, please, don’t waste your sympathy on me. I know you care, and it fills my heart with joy, but I’m not looking for your pity. Your pity makes me sick. No, wait. That’s the hangover…
Last night I was at Comedy in the Basement – a weekly night of free mirth put on by the marvellous Marta Adamowicz. Yes, I know that’s a weak ass adjective, and there is alliteration, but like I said – I’m hung over. What do you want? a delicious metaphor wrapped in a golden fucking bow? I’m doing my best here.
The basement is a great venue; small and intimate, perfect for a cozy night of comedy. And it’s weekly, so easy to remember that it’s happening. If you’re available, enjoy laughing at people and like not spending money to get into places so you have more mullah for booze you should totally come check it out. I won’t be there next week cuz I’m in Cardiff catching up with family and friends but I’ll be there the week after. Probably. No, wait, think I’m at a writers group. Look, I promise the time will come when you get to buy me a pint, you just have to be patient.
Meanwhile, on the other side of town, A night of noise was unfolding in another basement – that of the 13th Note. I wasn’t there, but I do like noise. I have it on good authority (I was talking to some guy outside the venue one time, having a cigarette, and he told me) that Glasgow once had a glorious noise scene, and that it is once again on the ascension. Stay tuned for further details.
Like I said, I wasn’t there, but do enjoy the links. Some of them point to places other than Facebook.
Here’s kabobo’s set. It was their first gig. Nice, huh?
A friend of mine and his band have a new album out and it’s a skullthumping mix of mad piano and darkwave synthy beatiness.
Now, when I say friend I mean “guy i know through facebook through a guy I used to know in Cardiff” – but we’ve had some cool conversations so I’m definitely leaning more towards friend than acquaintance. Still, it’s not like we hang out playing GTA and getting wasted. For starters, with him in London and me in the darklands of Scotland, the commute would be a motherfucker.
To celebrate the new album they’ve made their first two releases pay-what-you-like on bandcamp. Why not go grab yourself a download link? Also, if you like their page on facebook absolutely nothing of consequence will happen, although it does make it easier to keep up with their antics.
The album isn’t actually released till the 28th of June but it’s available to stream right now on bandcamp and I’m really quite fond of it. The lyrics and vocals avoid the cliches of darkwave (Deathboy, I’m looking at you) and the piano work keeps things fresh and manic. Its official release will be followed by a UK tour which promises such mad hedonism that entire town centers may be closed down in a state of emergency. You may well be seeing his face, makeup streaked with sweat and blood, on a forthcoming episode of Crime Watch.
Don’t believe what the powers that be tell you. He’s really a lovely guy.
Concerning the tour: The Nottingham date will be at The Maze, not at the Britannia Boat Club.
I cannot recommend this album enough.
Some slightly trippy and dubby noise from Gary Fisher. Still waiting for the rest of that Photo series Gary!
From upcoming digital release “Accident Waiting To Happen” Recorded on 4-track tape recorder with lap guitar and objects, reverb spring, a drum sequencing app on a mobile phone, loops and effects. The recording uses 3 of the 4 tracks with one instrument on each and was mixed live while recording to MP3.
One more couldn’t hurt, could it?